I’m sitting here wondering if I can create something beautiful, happy, new or even just funny from something that’s ugly on the eye, causes me embarrassment and occasional discomfort, is displeasing to anyone in close proximity, and of a highly personal nature. I know it’s possible – great works of art rise from the ashes of human angst all the time, right? But this is a weird one. Let me explain.
What You Need To Know About Hairy Mary!
I know that people call me Hairy Mary. I tried used no no hair removal after I saw it recommended at this site. They think I don’t notice the little comments and jibes here and there. I’m bright and bushy and that’s not just my tail. Hey, sure I can laugh about it, otherwise I would probably cry. I know that there are more important things in my life than a few stray hairs poking out here and there. Even so, it would be nice to get my body hair under control and not have to plan my life around my next dilapidation session. I wax and pluck, shave and bleach, and I’ve even tried laser sessions. Laser hair removal is both expensive and painful, in case you’re wondering!
My first love is music, not some guy. Maybe I’m afraid that no-one will love the ape girl in the corner. My songs are my passion, my future, and my life. Breaking into the industry is a bit tricky though. I’m trying to come up with innovative ways to get noticed. I’ve written a few tunes and I think they are really good. I’ve set up a Facebook page and my own YouTube channel. You’ve got to have self belief, right?
My problem is that looking the part is all wrapped up in that self esteem package too. That’s where I fall down. It’s hard to think that you truly look great when you’re a girl whose chin is growing a beard.
The “Song For Simon”
I missed the X Factor auditions last year because my beauty therapist had flu. I just couldn’t go and meet Simon Cowell without having my legs, arms and underarms waxed. I would have been Scary Mary. Underneath all my bravado, like many people I don’t feel 100% confident unless I think that I’m looking my best. My body hair is my weakest link.
I was going to send Simon a recording of my performance on CD with a note explaining what had happened. But my mom said to write 
him a song instead, you know, something that would really grab his attention. She said to make it about something original that I know and care about. Voila. There it was – my moment of truth. When people say they have an epiphany, a life changing moment, it’s hard to imagine what that might be. For me, suddenly everything became crystal clear. My body hair problems were standing in the way of me reaching my dream.
I decided that I’m the only one that can take action and turn the situation around to my advantage. I’m going to write a song about my body hair and explain it all, how it makes me feel and why I missed the audition. I’m calling it “Song For Simon”. I hope it will appeal to the kinder side of his nature and give him the chance to show that he is a compassionate human being.
This may sound tongue in cheek but actually it’s just my way of making light of my body hair issues. It’s not like I haven’t tried everything. I have a separate shelf in my bathroom devoted to hair removal products. You should see my drawer full of gadgets – epilators, electric tweezers, and mini razors for hard to reach places. I carry a small tub of facial hair bleach in my purse for emergencies.
It’s time for me to face my demons and get them out in the open. Music is the only way I know how. I hope that composing a song about my struggles with body hair and its removal will be relevant to others out there too.
So yes, it’s serious. I’m making a public commitment to write this song. Who knows if it will be a classic, or a future No. 1, but it’s just something that I feel like I have to do. It’s a journey into the unknown but I have a gut feeling this is something that I need to get out of my system. I’m not sure how long it will take, but I’m not going to stop until it’s finished. Hopefully once I get started the ideas will just flow. When am I getting started? Right here, right now!